Beyond the Soundbites: Two-way Relationships for Mentors and Mentees
February 1, 2022
By Mary Furtado, Deputy County Manager, Catawba County, NC and David Street, Chief of Staff, Loudoun County, VA
The importance of mentoring is a constant presence across the local government profession, so much so that an active member would have to do the professional equivalent of living under a rock to avoid hearing about the importance of mentoring – of finding a mentor and of being a mentor; of identifying someone who you trust to help navigate your career and of “paying it forward” to support the next generation of leaders. But what does the two-way relationship really look like from a practical, applied perspective? When you get past the soundbites, what does mentoring really look like? Below are a few key concepts shared by NACA members David Street, Chief of Staff in Loudoun County, VA and Mary Furtado, Deputy County Manager in Catawba County, NC during a recent Voices in Local Government podcast.
There are many paths to finding a mentor
David Street: There is a continuum between formal and informal mentoring relationships. Very rarely is the path straight. I have people who I consider to be very strong mentors where the relationship is informal. We'll chat, do check-ins about different things. I'll specifically seek them out for advice on specific topics, but it's never been, ‘Okay, you're my mentor now.’ My mentors have grown a little more organically.
I got lucky by stumbling into my valuable mentoring relationships, finding myself in an office where all of the executive managers are talent developers who engaged me by questioning and teasing out details of my own thought processes so I could examine them more clearly, through a more experienced lens. I asked myself, ‘What can I do with this? How can I interact with these folks in a way that benefits me professionally, benefits the organization I work for, and, I hope, delivers some sort of learning or satisfaction for them, as well?’ …It's okay to capitalize on this luck. Put that intention out there. Most people like being learned from and are eager to share their thoughts and experiences. All you have to do is be okay asking them about it, and be receptive to what they're asking or sharing with you.
Mary Furtado: You don't have to wait be assigned a mentor. Sometimes you find these people naturally; relationships over time turn into mentoring relationships. The idea that a mentor is older than you or in a higher-ranking position is a myth. You can have mentors your own age or younger than you. If your mind is open, you can learn from anybody at any time. Instead of going out and overtly seeking a mentor, work your network. Diversify the relationships you build, foster, and cultivate, and the “right” mentor candidates will emerge.
A natural way to find mentees is internships and fellowships. Have your organization take part in those. I don't engage in them for the explicit benefit of establishing mentoring relationships, although that's what they end up being. Those relationships grew naturally out of professional opportunities that our organization offered, like internships, fellowships, working with local high schools to source interns, etc. I'm not necessarily out seeking mentees, but I'm interested in connecting with people, fostering the culture of our organization, and helping develop people. The best mentors are developers and coaches, and if you believe in that, some of those things are going to come naturally. The most effective ways to find mentees all root in authentic relationships, in putting yourself out there, and in working the network.
The Soundbites: Mentoring is a 2-way street; mentors can gain as much as mentees from the relationship
Street: Mentor/mentee relationships can span organizational boundaries. That's why organizations like ICMA are so helpful; not only do you develop that network within your organization but you develop it within your field. Local government management is a field where you have the ability to recommend your best people for positions in other jurisdictions. You want your mentees to go out in the world and represent well; the benefit to you is your organization looking good. “Hey, we generated this rock star that went off and did great things!” Reframing in this mindset is definitely hard, but it’s how strong mentors view it.
Furtado: It’s a myth that mentors are doing mentees a favor. My relationships with young professionals serve as booster shots for me; it’s just as rewarding for me as, hopefully, for the person I’m coaching or mentoring. Someone asking questions is a point of self-reflection for me; it's super helpful.
The right mentor is going to be a person who willingly gives part of themselves. Form authentic relationships with people, and natural mentors will emerge. A good mentor is going to be willing to exert influence to create opportunities for a mentee, and the mentee holds just as much responsibility in terms of driving that relationship and putting skin in the game to get some yield from the mentor’s efforts.
Street: It's never too early to pay it forward. You don’t have to be a 20-year veteran to do that. I'm still pretty young in my career, but I'm thinking about how I can help people in graduate school consider local government or choose public service. I can do this by engaging these folks and telling my story. It’s never too soon to put the ladder down for the next person.
Furtado: Mentees add value in that they bring solid perspective if you take the time to ask them questions. Encourage honesty and embrace the notion of not being the emperor with no clothes, asking questions and really, truly seeking feedback without creating an assimilating expectation. Ask them not to tell you what they think you want to hear. As we grapple with leadership succession, talent development, and how we can maintain our position as employers of choice, how are we going to move forward if we're asking questions and only accepting answers that validate what we're already doing?
Mentors Don’t Have to Have All the Answers
Street: It is a myth that the mentor is perfect. Some of the strongest mentoring interactions I've had have been when mentors have shared things they’ve screwed up and what they learned from their mistakes. That made them more human, more approachable, and less intimidating.
As a mentor, you also have to be willing to put yourself out there, be a little vulnerable, and say, "Okay, well, here's where I struggled with," being willing to probe into the human side of someone you think is a diamond in the rough, who does a really great job, or who you can see is really strong in their public service motivation.
Furtado: My most influential and effective mentor never told me what I should do. He asked me questions, made me self-examine, and pulled out of me the answers I was looking for. I'd come to him and pose a question, and he'd respond with a question, which I’d answer. He’d say, "See? You didn't even need me. You already knew that. You had that instinct inside you." It helped build my confidence. Strong mentors are super skilled listeners able to pose those probing questions that draw out of you what's already in there in a way that helps you find your leadership voice.